Well I have been talking to a lot of people and reading articles about all types of issues. On thing that came to light for me that surprised me I HAVE to share!
Did you know that American men actually in general have lower sex drives? It is not talked about as much. It is one of our kept secrets.
It amazes me how stereotypes can actually be proven to be 100% wrong. People always believe that if a couple is not having sex it is because of the women. A lot of women have an equal or higher sex drive then men. They just are not as vocal about it due to society labeling women who have a sexual appetite negatively. So ladies if you fall in this category please do not be afraid that you are a freak, cause you may feel like a minority but there are A LOT of women that feel they same way you do!
I want to go over some tips for anyone who has a higher drive then their partner!!
First please remember that a rejection to sexual activity is NOT a rejection to you! A lot of things can affect a person’s sex drive. I know that when my sexual advances have been met with rejection I always felt like “What’s wrong with me?” Honestly we all need to stop blaming our selves!
The largest killer of sex drive is STRESS! When a person is focusing on a lot of different things it makes it hard to loosen up enough to be into sex. Sex is not just a physical act it is very much mental and emotional. Even in NSA (no strings attached) relationships or encounters. For one or both people to truly enjoy the experiences they have to have their head in it!
Remember that if something doesn’t work do not keep doing it. If you keep wearing out fits and it is not getting a reaction don’t keep trying the same thing. Sometimes if you back off and let your partner come to you it will help. Also do not be as eager. Maybe reject them once in a while (not in a negative way) that way they have to pursue you. Sometimes that kicks the drive in motion.
Look at what has changed. Did something change around when your partner’s drive did? Did you use to write each other note, was it more spontaneous and now you plan it? Try to do the things that changed and see if it helps. If you now do not have a lot of spontaneous time then plan some (I know oxy moron). You can plan on someone taking the kids out of the blue (or at least out of the blue to your partner).
Remember to be intimate not just sexual. The two are NOT interchangeable! Maybe that will be my next post!! Learning to reach intimacy with out intercourse!
You can send me questions or topics any time! Remember I am available to do home parties for Co-Eds, Couples, Ladies, and I welcome all life styles and prefrances.
I am going to have are Coffee talk at my home in Poughkeepsie if you want an invite send me your address!! I will be answering questions about being an IBA and about FYP in genral come join me!!
Thursday, February 19, 2009
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
Lube!!! Got to have it!!
I want to talk to you about Lube!
Ok I have to admit before I became an IBA lube was something I NEVER even thought about using. Now that I have learned about it more and have used it I LOVE it!
Lube can make bad sex good and good sex amazing!!
There are so many typed of lube on the market and it is VERY important to find the right one for you. Lube is not only great for partner play but also Solo. There are a lot of items that are forms of lubrications. I want to talk to you about a couple types along with tell you how I personally feel about a few of them.
Lube is actually made to keep you healthy! During sex play with a lover or alone a lot of friction is created. This friction can cause microscopic burns and tears. Lube helps prevent that even more then the bodies’ natural lubrications. These burns and tears even though they are so small leave a person more at risk of infection.
Do you know one of the most common misconceptions is that you can gauge a women’s arousal by how wet she is?
There are so many typed of lube on the market and it is VERY important to find the right one for you. Lube is not only great for partner play but also Solo. There are a lot of items that are forms of lubrications. I want to talk to you about a couple types along with tell you how I personally feel about a few of them.
Lube is actually made to keep you healthy! During sex play with a lover or alone a lot of friction is created. This friction can cause microscopic burns and tears. Lube helps prevent that even more then the bodies’ natural lubrications. These burns and tears even though they are so small leave a person more at risk of infection.
Do you know one of the most common misconceptions is that you can gauge a women’s arousal by how wet she is?
In fact that is not true. In some cases women can become very wet but not really want sex play and a very turned on women could become dry. Even women who have no problems getting wet should use lubes! You can really feel a difference in the experiences over all!
There are many kinds of lube water based, silicone, warming, flavored or combinations along with products that are designed for other purposes but are safe to use as a lube.
Water Base Lubes are great for individuals with sensitivities. They normally do not have the sticky feel to them and are gentle for people who have allergies or reactions to many other chemicals.
Silicone Lube is more coating. It will keep the area very moist and slippery. It does not break down in water so it is great for bath play. (Please be careful, as it will make the tub slippery also) I LOVE this type!!
Warming Lube is suppose to create a warm sensation along with its lubrication. Please try a little of this on your own before sex play as this is an item that not everyone reacts the same to and many do not enjoy the feeling in actuality even though they enjoy the idea of it! If you do not like the feeling you can use a little bit of vegetable oil to get it off your skin. (How ever make sure you wash right after!!)
Flavored Lubes: These are great for partner play. They can make oral sex feel better for the receiver and taste better for the giver =}. Please just be aware that the Flavored lube you use is sugar free. If using this on a women if the sugar is not FULLY cleaned up it can cause bacterial and yeast infections.
I want to also let you know that when using condoms do not use any Oil based products or lotions!! It actually will put wholes in your condoms. Wholes that you wont see but sperm can get through!!
Here are some of my personal tips for you about lube!!
If you are sexually active with a man Flavored lube and a sleeve can bee a great way to kick things up! The sleeve makes his shaft feel great and takes more of the shaft then you personally may be able to. Leaving the head and tip of the shaft as a place to focus. Plus the flavor makes it yummy. (Ask me about the Succulent Blossom!! I can tell you a trick so it does the swallowing for you!!)
A product we carry called Secret Garden is Amazing for a women! It is actually a female orgasm enhancer that is safe to be used as a lube. I personally tried this and OMFG!!! I think all of Poughkeepsie heard me!! Not only did it feel good as a lube but it DEF intensified my orgasm and brought it on much sooner then normal!!
Silicon Lube does not have to be just for intercourse! I love using Silicone lube for body massages and also on really dry rough skin. It also can be used to help get a really nice shave but it is SLIPPERY so please be careful when using it with a razor!
There are many kinds of lube water based, silicone, warming, flavored or combinations along with products that are designed for other purposes but are safe to use as a lube.
Water Base Lubes are great for individuals with sensitivities. They normally do not have the sticky feel to them and are gentle for people who have allergies or reactions to many other chemicals.
Silicone Lube is more coating. It will keep the area very moist and slippery. It does not break down in water so it is great for bath play. (Please be careful, as it will make the tub slippery also) I LOVE this type!!
Warming Lube is suppose to create a warm sensation along with its lubrication. Please try a little of this on your own before sex play as this is an item that not everyone reacts the same to and many do not enjoy the feeling in actuality even though they enjoy the idea of it! If you do not like the feeling you can use a little bit of vegetable oil to get it off your skin. (How ever make sure you wash right after!!)
Flavored Lubes: These are great for partner play. They can make oral sex feel better for the receiver and taste better for the giver =}. Please just be aware that the Flavored lube you use is sugar free. If using this on a women if the sugar is not FULLY cleaned up it can cause bacterial and yeast infections.
I want to also let you know that when using condoms do not use any Oil based products or lotions!! It actually will put wholes in your condoms. Wholes that you wont see but sperm can get through!!
Here are some of my personal tips for you about lube!!
If you are sexually active with a man Flavored lube and a sleeve can bee a great way to kick things up! The sleeve makes his shaft feel great and takes more of the shaft then you personally may be able to. Leaving the head and tip of the shaft as a place to focus. Plus the flavor makes it yummy. (Ask me about the Succulent Blossom!! I can tell you a trick so it does the swallowing for you!!)
A product we carry called Secret Garden is Amazing for a women! It is actually a female orgasm enhancer that is safe to be used as a lube. I personally tried this and OMFG!!! I think all of Poughkeepsie heard me!! Not only did it feel good as a lube but it DEF intensified my orgasm and brought it on much sooner then normal!!
Silicon Lube does not have to be just for intercourse! I love using Silicone lube for body massages and also on really dry rough skin. It also can be used to help get a really nice shave but it is SLIPPERY so please be careful when using it with a razor!
If you want more info just ask!! I have a lot more I could tell you on the topic of lube!!
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